Every now and again, my number three son who is in preschool brings home a parenting magazine, like this one I just received. This magazine happens to be the February/March Scholastic Parent and Child magazine. It features such articles as “Love : New ways to express your deepest feelings and how it helps make your family happier and healthier.” Frankly- as a mother of five children I get a chuckle out of these little magazines. For one there is usually nothing very helpful to do with real life or raising children in these magazines. Two, they are geared to mother’s who aspire to be Martha Stewart. Worse of all- these magazines are generally nothing but one hundred plus pages of advertisements for crap that Moms and Dads don’t need. The only thing slightly interesting to note for this particular magazine I just received is that George Lucas of Star Wars fame is a contributor on the article “imagination.” Other then that these magazines aren’t any more helpful to parents then a car manual. So without further ado- let me suggest my picks for parenting magazines.
First off is this July 1947 Weird Tales Magazine about Vampires. This is really useful to parents of teenagers- because I swear to high heaven my oldest son brought this same kid home one night. I don’t want to sound really mean but when I woke up the next morning the vampire I mean kid ate almost all the food out of the cupboards and boy did he stink too! Smelled like he had been rotting in some grave for a 100 years- there is a such thing as deodorant and toothpaste.
Next up is this parenting magazine- again we have Weird Tales from May 1936 which features the tale of the Devil’s Double. Here on the cover this pretty much sums it up. You have two parents cowering in fear at the acts of terror from their child, who has become the Devil’s Double. I mean how many times have I said it to my husband Jerry, “I don’t know what’s wrong with that kid, he acts like the devils double…”
Up next is a magazine for the work at home parents. Here we have Strange Tales from May 1936 which has the cover story “Hunters From Beyond.” The cover picture showing a work at home father who is being disrupted by his four year old son for the eleventh time before 10:00 am. It’s not often pretty working at home!
Last off we have a later entry with Famous Fantastic Mysteries a magazine from December 1952. Famous Fantastic Mysteries is especially useful for parents. Besides the fantasy classic on the cover Skull Face- you’ll find out who ate all the chips in the house. How did that get there? Why is the floor around the toilet always yellow when you live with five guys? Who ate Mom’s chap-stick and why does the cat have bald spots? These and other fantastic mysteries will be solved in bone chilling fashion in the pages of this parenting magazine from the 1950′s.
Enjoy my top picks for helpful parenting magazines and have a Happy Friday 13th!
XO -Michelle
EEEEEKKKKKK!!!!!!
You are a very disturbed woman Michelle.
I dig those freaky covers and wish I could read the magazines right now. That Scholastic Parent and Child magazine–that’s what you call focused advertising. Wouldn’t you love to know who actually buys stuff from those ads?
Hi Deborah!
Hi Bobby- You mean disturbed in a good way right?
I know who buys junk from those magazines… I always see them in the doctors office. They are the new parents that are about ten years younger then me. They always look unhappy and bent out of shape over everything. They believe too- that buying an expensive baby product will fix things. Then they get even more bent because they are broke and all these expensive mommy – daddy conveniences didn’t do anything but waste their money.
Hopefully your local CPS doesn’t read your blog.
Why not- I am stellar parent? I know my limits I stopped at 5 – not like some nuts who try to have 8 or more at a time!
I’m not sure how, but Strange Tales from 1936 has a picture of my soon-to-be 5 year old son on it’s cover! One can even see his little mouth open – I can almost hear him saying “Da-ad”… “Dad?”… “Dad!”… “Dad?”…
Yes- it does look remarkably like Terry on a bad day of interrupting work. But why are you reading pulp fiction instead of working?
I know skull face. The fellow just will not get any nutrition except beer and cubed cheese. Yes … “what’s not to like about cubed cheese”, but mixing it with beer makes for a bad bowel and poor digestion. I might write bout` that at Doctor Shoal’s as a ghost writer.
Happy Valentine!!!!
You know skull face too? He gets around! He could use some work from Dr. Shoal- maybe a skin graft or something!
Ek, Vampires!
Concerning your comment on my blog about commenting. lol Yes, the comment link is light blue & a pain in the buttttttt. I’ve tried to change the color via HTLM, but nothing has worked. I don’t know much about HTLM. the next time you visit just highlight the area & you should see the link.
LOL! I don’t know which is cooler – the awesome magazine cover artwork or the clever and creative way you worked them into this post. I also don’t know how you could have slept in the same house with a kid that looked like that. I think I would have had to show him to the “guest room” out in the garage or something.
Teeni- it’s 40 below outside in Wiscosin- no matter how smelly a teenager is you don’t put them out in the garage! Maybe the neighbors garage but not your own… frozen smelly undead Popsicle anyone?
Anyway who said I slept when VAMPIRO was here!
My favorite is the one from “Strange Tales” where the Michelin Man confronts the guy. No doubt because he is overdue to rotate his tires.
That’s an interesting take on Strange Tales- it does look like the Michelin Man on a bad day! Thanks for dropping by.
Do you mind I use one or two of these images in a blog post of my own:?
I am fine with people using my photos as long and they credit me and or supply a link back. Thanks for asking- I have had several of my images stolen…
I have the use of the photo, and link, in my blog now.