Viva Las Vegas ~ Vintage Rat Pack

Granny Hood (my Mom) carrying my Affiliate Summit Swag Bag outside of Caesar’s Palace. Doesn’t she look happy?

I just returned from Vegas this past Wednesday night after attending Affiliate Summit West. Things have really changed since I was last there twelve years ago.

For one, food used to be incredibly cheap in Vegas. Twelve years ago there were plenty of buffets and all the casino’s seemed more then happy to feed hungry tourists for just a few bucks. Anything to keep gamblers stuck to the their tables and slot machines. Now all the decent buffets are well over $30 a person and since my Mother (my traveling companion) offered to treat me for most meals… I told her I was in the mood for McDonalds and lots of it. Thank goodness McDonald’s has salads and orange juice or I would have croaked.

The transportation seemed a bit more dodgy this time around too. Last time I took a limo from airport to the MGM Grand where I was staying. Considering I left the MGM once during that trip- I can’t really make an accurate comparison. I can tell you this time around however, I took the Deuce (the Strip’s bus line) back and forth between the hotel I stayed at (the Stratosphere) to Caesar’s Palace where I then caught a connecting free shuttle to the Rio where Affiliate Summit was held. During my two day usage of Las Vegas public ground transportation I got felt up and dry humped by a fellow passenger and also witnessed a near fist fight between a passenger and a psychotic bus driver. All in all it went well getting around the city…

The gambling was pretty much the same, although twelve years ago I won over $1700 playing Caribbean Stud and Black Jack only to lose it all on poker machines. This time I was prepared and just put all my gambling bank roll into the poker machines. In that way I could just better use the time I could have spent winning at the tables and getting drunk, by visiting with my Mother.

The sex in Las Vegas is pretty much the same. My Mother and I took a wrong turn out of Circus Circus and ended up off Strip. Which is to say where all the really nasty sex shows and seedy liquor stores are. So if you need directions to the nasty part of Las Vegas feel free to call my Mother or myself and we would be happy to give you directions or tips on how to find the grossest girls in Vegas (for a small fee). For free sex I would encourage you to ride The Deuce.

By now you can tell I am pining for the old Vegas… and since I am a vintage type of girl I’ll leave you with vintage Rat Pack and Dean Martin Singing “When You’re Drinkin.” Note the classy vintage gesture Dean makes in the middle of his medley- I feel the same way about the “new” Las Vegas.